Have you had days when you questioned every text message from your partner? Do you feel an overwhelming need for continuous reassurance because you think something is wrong between you two? Or have you had the gnawing fear that your relationship might end any time… even when things are going well?
You are suffering from relationship anxiety. It is a painful and disastrous disorder that can destroy your and your partner’s life. You will find out: what relationship anxiety is? Why does it happen? How does it affect your psyche? along with practical tips for managing it in this blog post.
You will have a clearer picture of whether your worries are signs of relationship anxiety or not. Also, you will know how you can take steps toward making your relationship bond better.
What is Relationship Anxiety?
It is a type of anxiety that focuses on romantic relationships. You are always worried about small things. You always think your relationship won’t survive. You may have doubts about your partner too… is he happy with you or not?.
You can develop relationship anxiety because of: Your past experiences, hidden insecurities, or how you make attachments. According to a neuroscience, relationship anxiety involves the brain’s fear and stress circuits, particularly the amygdala, which processes threats and triggers emotional responses.
When someone experiences relationship anxiety, the amygdala becomes overactive, leading to heightened fear and worry about the relationship.
Relationship anxiety triggers the autonomic nervous system which controls your involuntary body functions. So, your sympathetic nervous system which controls your “fight or flight” response activates.
As a result, you feel: increased heart rate, sweating, and stress. It is actually your body preparing to fight the threats to your relationship… which are probably not there. You can go into chronic stress and more anxiety if this continues to happen for a long time.
Relationship anxiety can affect your psyche and overwhelm your life completely. You can develop: chronic stress, depression, generalised anxiety disorder, or panic attacks. Your constant fear about your relationship can eat away at your self-esteem.
It will make you feel unworthy, unlovable, and not enough. The worst part? Your negative self-perception can really push your partner away. Although it would be because of your insecure behaviour, you will chalk it up to “See! I knew I wasn’t worth it.”
This anxiety is like a plague. It develops mistrust, misunderstandings, and emotional distance between you and your partner. Your need for reassurance and validation can be overwhelming for you both. It might end your relationship in the long run.
You must recognize and resolve the underlying issues that are over-burdening your romantic relationship. So, you must recognize the symptoms of this anxiety first:
Constant Worry About the Relationship
It is the first symptom of relationship anxiety. You can become quite obsessive. Also, you might always be fearful about small things in your relationship. You may read disaster in their every word. You might keep a close eye on them to see if they are being faithful or not.
Your partner can see this as “very creepy.” Your overthinking makes you worry about your relationship’s survival. You might imagine worst-case scenarios and even a breakup. This can happen every single day!
These dark feelings can drain your physical and mental energy. You might become a shell of yourself. As a result, you can become a bitter person who can “never keep their relationships”.
Fear of Rejection
You think that you don’t deserve love and affection. Your past broken relationships might increase these thoughts. You can also believe that your partner will leave you one way or another… perhaps quite soon. As a result, you can become extra careful; you are always on their head to ask if they still love you, or “You won’t leave me, will you?” constantly.
Your fear doesn’t let you express exactly what you need. So, your relationship really “hangs by a thread.” Also, it can practically end intimacy because no one feels loved enough to do it.
Jealousy and Insecurity
Jealousy and insecurity come hand in hand with relationship anxiety. It is because you feel threatened by one thing or another… real or not. You might become suspicious of your partner’s friends, colleagues, or even strangers in a bar.
“Is he/she cheating on me?” “Am I not enough?” “I knew he/she does not like me.”
You can perceive their normal behaviour as signs of infidelity. This insecurity can make you a micromanager. You might want to control their every move; where they are going, why they are going without you, why they are 10 minutes late… You just cannot stop.
Eventually, your partner might grow tired of your constant “nagging” and actually leave.
Overanalyzing Partner’s Actions and Words
You can’t help it. You see doomsday in their every word and action. Even their tone of voice may look “condescending and dismissive” to you. A late reply to your text message, a change in office hours, or a joking remark can make you expect the worst.
This overanalysis can make you misunderstand or miscommunicate with your partner. They can become anxious too. As a result, you always fight each other and be miserable. Your relationship might be difficult to survive if this happens for a long time.
Physical Symptoms
Your body shows telltale signs that you are anxious. You may have: Headaches, stomach aches, and a continuous muscle tension. Also, you may develop insomnia or disrupted sleep patterns because of all the worry about your relationship.
These illnesses can ruin your health and mental peace too… you cannot be happy with an ever-present headache.
You cannot get rid of relationship anxiety without a proper plan. You can reduce your anxiety if you adopt practical methods to create a friendlier surrounding. These tips can help you develop healthier coping strategies and make your romantic bond stronger.
Open Communication
Open communication is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship. Honest and transparent discussions with your partner about your feelings and fears can develop mutual understanding and trust.
By sharing your anxieties and concerns, you create an environment where both partners feel heard and valued. This openness allows for collaborative problem-solving and reduces misunderstandings.
It’s essential to approach these conversations with empathy and without blame, focusing on expressing your feelings and needs rather than criticising your partner. This practice can help build a stronger emotional bond and a more resilient relationship.
Challenge Negative Thoughts
Negative thinking patterns are a common feature of relationship anxiety, often leading to unnecessary worry and stress. Cognitive-behavioural techniques (CBT) can be highly effective in reframing these thoughts and reducing anxiety.
CBT involves identifying irrational or negative thoughts and replacing them with more balanced and realistic ones. For example, if you find yourself thinking, “My partner didn’t text me back; they must be losing interest,” you can challenge this thought by considering alternative explanations, such as your partner being busy.
Practising this method regularly can help you develop a more positive outlook and diminish anxiety’s grip on your relationship.
Self-Reflection and Awareness
Self-reflection is important in managing relationship anxiety. Take time to think about: Your past experiences, insecurities, and fears. This can help you find the hidden root causes of your anxiety.
How should you resolve them? By Journaling, practising mindfulness, and mental exercises. You can reduce anxiety’s dangerous effect on your relationship if you become more aware of your emotional responses and triggers.
Educate Yourself About Anxiety
Education is a powerful approach in managing relationship anxiety. By learning about anxiety, its causes, and its effects, you can empower yourself to handle it more effectively. You can find many resources: Books, online courses, and articles. They can help you better your experiences and reduce feelings of hopelessness.
Related Read: Anxiety in Relationships: Signs, Causes, and Management
Seeking Professional Help
It is necessary to manage relationship anxiety. Therapies give you a safe space to go through your feelings and release your emotions to develop effective coping mechanisms. Here are 3 powerful modalities that can resolve relationship anxiety:
Clinical Hypnotherapy
Clinical Hypnotherapy is a trance-like state that opens your mind to suggestions. This treatment method uses relaxation techniques and focused attention to help you dig deep into your subconscious mind. It can change your negative thoughts and reduce your anxiety.
Havening Techniques
Your therapist uses gentle touch and visualisation to calm your brain. Havening helps you feel more secure in your relationships by reducing stress and anxiety. It changes negative emotions to develop a sense of safety and trust for healthy relationships.
Family Constellation
Family Constellation helps you recognise hidden stresses in family systems that may develop relationship anxiety. It helps you understand your relationship patterns if you address your unresolved issues and emotional attachments.
This can better your interactions and reduce anxiety in their current relationships.
You can have a happy and healthy relationship if you resolve your relationship anxiety with the help of a professional.
You can reduce the bad effects of relationship anxiety on your and your partner’s lives if you use these strategies every day. You must practise: Open communication, pushing negative thoughts away, self-reflection, education, and professional support.
Relationship anxiety can ruin your emotional well-being and your romantic relationship. You can manage this anxiety if you recognize the signs— constant worry, fear of rejection, jealousy, reading too much into your partner’s actions, and physical stress.
You can build healthier relationships if you understand and manage your own anxiety.
You can have stronger emotional bonds and enjoy more satisfying connections by taking timely steps and finding support. So, Book a Free Consultation with our practitioner now to learn more.
Read Next: What Does Anxiety Feel Like?
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