Are you watching your relationships die but cannot stop being angry? Are you about to lose your job due to your outbursts? Do you feel trapped in the cycle of aggression, depression, and loneliness? We understand you. What’s more, we have a solution.

More than 50% of the population regrets their uncontrolled rage. The best remedy to control your temper is emotional regulation. This blog gives you an insight into your anger and how this technique can better your life and of those around you.

What Is Emotional Regulation and Why Is It Important?

To put it simply, it is a way to let you be in control of your emotions whenever you want. It means that once you get angry, you can calm yourself down before you see red. Regulating your emotions helps you to:

• Make sensible decisions

• Make your relationships stronger

• Maintain good physical and mental health

Also, it gives you time to ask yourself:

• What am I feeling?

• What’s going on in my body?

• What do I really need to do?

• What are my options?

Remember that regulating your emotions does not mean crushing or pushing them back. By learning to address your feelings practically, you give yourself powerful weapons against anger-provoking events. As a result, you stay away from serious consequences.

Important to Know: Positive vs. Negative Regulation

You must know that there are two types of emotional regulations:

• Re-appraisal: When you face a challenge where you can get angry, you change the way you see it. It allows you to re-think your response and avoid getting aggressive. This is positive regulation.

• Suppression: You try to push back your feelings of hurt and frustration in a triggering situation. Since you don’t get a healthy outlet to respond, your perception remains clouded by anger. It can result in sudden outbursts. This is negative regulation.

However, what if you cannot choose re-appraisal? In that case, you can learn how to.

But Why Do I Get Angry?

Because it is a built-in emotion in humans, anger is there to help you stay away from negative situations. 

However, it can quickly become a bad influence if it goes unchecked. There are several reasons for unrestricted short temper:

• You were always told to suppress anger because it is a bad thing. If you keep on bottling up your emotions, they may burst out in unexpected situations and cause harm.

• You can’t say ‘no’ to things you don’t want to do. People may trample your boundaries but you can’t tell them to back off. Consequently, that trapped feeling comes out as aggression. 

• Too much alcohol consumption can cause you to lash out more than usual.

• You might develop resentment if you feel unappreciated and overworked. In the long run, that resentment can show itself as bouts of outrage.

• Lack of sleep due to work stress or other reasons can make you angrier than usual. 

Pro tip: Remember to sleep for 7 – 8 hours everyday. It keeps your circadian rhythm balanced.

• A diagnosed or underlying psychological condition can make you lose emotional control. Anger is a major symptom of Anxiety, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, ADHD, and many other disorders.

Here are some useful tips to calm yourself at home: How to Control Anger? Home Remedies to Help You Stay Calm

So, Is it Wrong to Get Angry?

No, not always. Anger is a part of human nature, just like happiness and contentment. In some instances, you can even find it helpful. You can be more focused on finding solutions to get out of that situation if you get furious about something.

However, anger becomes harmful when you let it control you instead of you controlling it. Continued rage can increase the risk of heart disease. Furthermore, you can slip into an aggressive-depressive cycle if you have frequent outbursts.

• You get outraged and yell, curse, hit, or throw things

• You stay like that for some time until your emotions subside

• You regret what you did and feel terrible

If this happens frequently, you can gradually lose self-esteem because of constant self-blame. You can also build resentment and jealousy towards others if you don’t get immediate help to replace these feelings with contentment and peace.

Therapist’s Insight: People feel afraid of the intensity of their emotions. That’s why they are desperate for solutions. They don’t seek help because they are overly dramatic or sensitive but because they want to feel “normal”.

Additionally, you might make impulsive decisions in a fit of anger that may be catastrophic later. Which brings us to emotional regulation.

How to Learn Emotional Regulation?

There are several methods to help you re-appraise before reacting. Besides therapies and exercises, your psychologist can give you emotional regulation worksheets to assess your cognition.

Exercises

• Deep breathing: It calms your nerves immediately and reduces the fight-or-flight response. Once your mind comes out of the adrenaline frenzy, you can think clearly and make mindful decisions.

• Stretching: The best time to stretch your body is right after you wake up in the morning. It allows faster blood circulation, which sends more oxygen to the brain. Consequently, your mood gets better because you feel fresh and alert.

• The Five Senses Exercise: This method helps you increase focus. It is also called “5-4-3-2-1 Ground Exercise”. You must focus, think, and describe in detail about:

• 5 objects you see

• 4 structures you feel

• 3 noises you hear

• 2 odors you smell

• 1 thing you taste

Self-Help Tips

Besides breathing and sensory exercises, you can build emotional tolerance by developing these skills:

• Know your triggers. If you know that, you can pick your battles wisely and choose to walk away rather than get angry.

• Be aware of your body. If you are more alert to what you are feeling, you can be more mindful in keeping your emotions in check.

• Reconsider your thoughts. Do you need to yell or throw things? Is it worth staying in that situation? What the other person might be feeling? Thinking along these lines can reduce your immediate anger.

• Stick to a mantra. It shouldn’t be negative, though. You must not stand in front of a mirror and repeat, “It is all my fault”. Instead, choose a positive chant. Something like:

• “I will try again.”

• “People have good qualities.”

• “I don’t need to answer this.”

Remember, you are what you think. If you have difficulty in staying positive, these quotes can help.

Therapies

• Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT): This method helps you regulate emotions by increasing your emotional intelligence. It changes your perspective of a negative situation. In short, it gives you more options to deal with a distressing event other than anger only. For example, you can choose to walk away rather than yell and curse.

• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: You learn to control aggressive behaviour by increasing your problem-solving skills. An important feature of CBT is take-home assignments. Your therapist gives you suggestions for effective emotional regulation, and you try to apply them afterwards.

• Hypnotherapy: This technique opens your mind to accept positive suggestions. The goal of hypnotherapy is to embed these responses in your unconscious. Once you learn harmless reactions to irritating situations, you can practice them in real time. 

Do People Actually Benefit From Any of These Therapies?

Absolutely! We have helped 700+ people better their lives through hypnotherapy at the Make It Happen Hypnotherapy Centre. 

One of them is Vanessa, who found this method “spiritually healing”. She has become kinder towards herself after a year of consecutive sessions. She claims that she sees herself in a different, positive light and wants to continue this journey. 

Pranali, another client, came with very low confidence due to her unresolved issues in the past. She felt a significant change after a single session! Now, she is more confident in her everyday life and has become a better mother.

The best thing? You can experience it too! 

Hypnotherapy for Emotional Regulation

Hypnotherapy strengthens your subconscious so you can cope with overwhelming emotions. 

It helps you realise and resolve childhood or past traumas that you don’t know about… and which can be the reason for your uncontrolled aggression. 

As a result, your mind jumps straight to practical solutions whenever you face an anger-triggering situation. 

How Hypnosis Helps Coping With Anger?

By opening your mind to adopt useful suggestions. Your therapist uses a variety of methods to take you “inside your mind” and replace disturbing thoughts with optimistic alternatives. Some techniques are:

• Parts Therapy: Or arm-drop technique. Once you let go of your conscious mind, you might see your arm rising without your intention. Then, your therapist can guide you in navigating through your feelings.

• Imagery: It works best to change your POV for traumatic scenarios in your past. You imagine scenes, events, and places where you felt vulnerable or hurt. Then, you learn to visually change how you perceive and respond to those triggering conditions.

• Direct Suggestion: It is the most standard method to allow your subconscious to accept suggestions. Your hypnotherapist gives you auditory cues to get you into a trance-like state. Your brain becomes more receptive to recognize buried traumas and resolve them in this state.

Related Read: Hypnosis as Therapy: Understanding its Purpose, Benefits & Risks

Bottom Line

Uncontrolled anger can cost you your loved ones, your work, and your problem-solving skills. Emotional regulation is the best way to manage your aggression during triggering situations. We at Make It Happen Hypnotherapy can help you cope with anger-provoking situations through positive responses.

Book a free consultation call today to start regaining control of your life… because we don’t want you to be alone.