Supporting someone you care about through anxiety is an act of deep compassion. It shows how much you value your relationship. You want to help genuinely, but sometimes it is hard to know what actually works. Maybe you have offered reassurance like “just relax,” but it fell flat. What can you do when anxiety isn’t just present—it’s dismantling your loved one’s entire world?

Here is a good news— You can be a powerful source of comfort and strength if you follow these 7 therapist-backed ways. You won’t lose yourself along the way, too.

1. Understand What Anxiety Really Is

Anxiety isn’t just “overthinking.” It is a survival response gone haywire.

Your brain’s amygdala has a danger detector that starts misfiring at every minor and major incident. It floods your body with stress hormones i.e. cortisol and adrenaline. This triggers physical symptoms:

• Racing heart
• Sweating
• Muscle tension
• Shallow breathing

Anxious people may feel like a smoke alarm is stuck in ON mode inside them. In reality, the “threat” their brain perceives may not even be real. But every trigger makes them more anxious and agitated.

How Anxiety Is for Them?

Nonetheless, you must understand that this isn’t overreacting. It is their nervous system in survival mode. Anxiety can stem from:

• Genetics—it is inheritable
• Brain chemistry imbalances
• Life events like trauma or chronic stress

For professionals, anxiety might show up as an overwhelming sense of dread before presentations or meetings—no matter how prepared they are.

For parents, it can manifest as relentless worry over a child’s safety, even when everything appears fine.

For trauma survivors, it often feels like a constant state of hyper-vigilance—never truly safe, even in familiar places.

When you begin to understand the biology behind anxiety, something shifts. What once seemed like “overreacting” now becomes a sign of the nervous system doing its best to protect. Their behaviours aren’t irrational—they’re survival responses wired into the brain and body. This shift in perspective can unlock compassion.

Your empathy isn’t just kind—it’s powerful. It becomes the bridge that helps your loved one feel safe again. And if you’re a parent watching your child battle anxiety, know this: your calm, co-regulated presence is one of the greatest tools for helping them emotionally reset.

2. When They Open Up, Don’t Dismiss—Listen with Compassion

It is courageous when someone opens about their anxiety in front of you. Mostly, it indicates an unhealed fear or past wound being triggered.

For example, fear of public speaking maybe there because of a past humiliation.

A parent’s immense worry about their child’s social struggles could reflect their own unresolved trauma.

A trauma survivor might panic in crowded spaces because of a subconscious triggering memory.

Dismissing their feelings can make them feel invalidated. They might become more isolated due to embarrassment.

How to Help?

Your role is to be there, not fix the problem. This is necessary for parents because listening to a child’s fears without judgment builds trust. It also creates a safe foundation for healing. Furthermore, research shows compassionate listening reduces emotional distress and builds connection.

When they confide in you, respond with, “Thank you for trusting me. I am here. You are not alone.” If a parent shares their worries, say, “It sounds so hard for your child to feel this way. Let’s figure out what helps.” This encourages openness and reduces shame.

Ditch these phrases:

• “It’s not a big deal.”
• “Just think positive!”

3. Learn Their Triggers and Patterns

Anxiety isn’t random—it follows patterns and triggers.

Working professionals’ trigger patterns maybe deadlines, meetings, or public speaking.

On the other hand, trauma survivors can be triggered by a specific sound, place, or memory.

Parents might notice their child’s anxiety spikes during school timings or social events. Common triggers include:

• Sensory overload (crowds, noise)
• Uncertainty
• Fatigue
• Low blood sugar which mimics panic

So, how can you help someone with anxiety? By identifying these trigger patterns gently. A study found that recognising triggers improves connection building.

How to Help?

Start by observing quietly. Does their anxiety peak in certain settings?

For example, one of our clients found that crowded stores triggered her anxiety attacks. So, her partner helped by suggesting quieter shopping times.

For parents, it’s important to stay curious. Notice if things like homework or social situations—like talking to classmates or friends—seem to trigger anxiety in your child. Instead of jumping in with advice, invite them into a safe conversation. Ask open-ended, non-judgmental questions like:

“What usually sets this off for you?”

“What seems to help when it feels overwhelming?”

The goal isn’t to fix it in the moment—it’s to help them feel seen. Let them open up at their own pace.

When you do notice patterns, reflect them gently. You might say:

“I’ve noticed you get tense before certain activities—like group work or meetings. Is there anything that helps you feel more at ease?”

This kind of presence builds trust. It shows your child that their emotions are valid—and that you’re right there with them, not trying to rush them past their feelings.

If you are calming a parent, say, “Does your child’s anxiety increase before tests? Maybe we can find ways to ease that.” This builds awareness without putting pressure to perform.

4. Use Grounding Tools That Work Fast

This does not include the instruction to “calm down”. It invalidates their painful experience and increases stress. How can you help someone with anxiety? By offering evidence-based grounding tools to ease anxiety in the moment.

5-4-3-2-1 Sensory Grounding

When anxiety strikes, it pulls the nervous system into fight-or-flight mode. The 5-4-3-2-1 technique helps gently redirect the mind from internal panic back to the safety of the present moment.

If you’re a parent supporting a child through anxiety, try saying:

“Let’s try a little noticing game. Can you tell me…”

• 5 things you can see (e.g. the wall, a toy, the sky)
• 4 things you can touch (e.g. the floor, your clothes, a blanket)
• 3 things you can hear (e.g. the clock ticking, birds outside)
• 2 things you can smell (e.g. something cooking, fresh air)
• 1 thing you can taste (e.g. a sip of water, toothpaste)

This sequence grounds them in the here and now by engaging the senses. It activates the brain’s calming centers, redirect their focus back to the present and bring the body out of survival mode.

Tip: Keep your tone soft and supportive. If they can’t identify one of the senses, that’s okay—just skip it or adjust the number. The goal isn’t perfection, it’s presence. Read more about the neuroscience of grounding techniques.

Havening Technique to Release Anxiety in Real Time

Havening isn’t just about touch—it’s about transforming the emotional imprint behind anxiety. You can guide yourself or a loved one through this by combining gentle Havening touch with emotional vocalisation—a powerful technique for releasing and rewiring.

Step-by-Step: How to Practice

1. Begin with Gentle Self-Touch

Rub your arms slowly from shoulders to elbows, stroke your palms, or lightly touch your face—whatever feels comforting. This touch activates delta waves, known for calming the brain and body.

1. Name the Emotion Out Loud

As you continue the touch, say the emotion you’re feeling aloud. For example: “Anxious… anxious… anxious…”Repeat this softly and steadily for 2–3 minutes. This helps your brain acknowledge and release the stored charge of the emotion.

1. Shift to a Calming Word or State

After a few minutes, switch to a calming word—this is where the rewiring happens. “Calm… calm… calm…” or “Safe… peaceful… relaxed…”Repeat the chosen word while continuing the soothing touch for another few minutes. You may also pair the words with calming imagery—imagine a peaceful place, safe hug, or light surrounding you. This amplifies the soothing effect.

This transition from tension to peace helps the brain re-associate old triggers with new, safe experiences—creating real-time emotional rewiring.

Why This Works:

• The touch soothes the nervous system.
• The emotional naming externalizes the internal experience (which lowers its intensity).
• The verbal shift rewires associations from fear to safety—right at the subconscious level.

Backed by research, Havening has been proven to lower cortisol and help reset stress pathways.

Cardiac Coherence Breathing:

Inhale for 5 seconds, exhale for 5, for 5 minutes. This balances heart rate variability, promoting calm.

These tools work for professionals before high-stakes meetings, teens facing school anxiety, or anyone in a panic spiral. Practice together to make it collaborative.

5. Respect Their Pace When Suggesting Help

Don’t force them for any kind of therapy or treatment that they are not comfortable with. They maybe afraid or feel stigmatised.

Instead of pushing, you can suggest, “Would it help to talk to someone who specialises in anxiety?” For caregivers, suggest professional help for their child delicately: “Would it help your teen to learn tools to manage school stress?” This respects their pace while showing care.

Once they open up about getting treatment, you can suggest these modalities:

• Hypnotherapy for Anxiety:

Hypnotherapy helps access the subconscious mind, where anxious patterns are stored. Rather than just talking about anxiety, it guides the client into a relaxed, focused state where the root causes—such as past experiences, limiting beliefs, or emotional imprints—can be safely explored and transformed. By using subconscious reprogramming, hypnotherapy empowers the brain to release old fear-based responses and replace them with a deep sense of calm and control.

• Havening Technique:

Havening focuses on gently rewiring the brain’s response to anxiety by using soothing touch to create a sense of safety in the nervous system. Unlike traditional behavioural therapy, Havening doesn’t just manage symptoms—it works at the root, helping the brain de-link emotional distress from past memories or triggers. The result is a calmer, more regulated state that feels natural, not forced.

• Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT): This approach works on the conscious mind. It can help reduce anxiety symptoms and negative thinking. It does not work with the subconscious mind though.

6. How Can You Help Someone With Anxiety? Set Boundaries That Serve You Both

Supporting someone with anxiety can drain you. You may suffer from compassion fatigue. Boundaries aren’t selfish—they create stability for both of you.

For example, if late-night calls disrupt your sleep, suggest a daytime check-in. If a child’s anxiety overwhelms a parent, set limits on crisis discussions.

Boundaries also build healthy self-care. It is necessary that everyone learns to create them, especially those with anxiety.

For professionals, clear limits prevent work-life imbalance

For parents, they show kids how to prioritize well-being. Communicate kindly to avoid guilt.

How to Help

Say things like:

• “I want to be there for you. Can we talk at 7 PM when I’m fully present?”
• “I will help with your homework stress, but let’s take breaks to recharge.”
• “I am here after dinner—let’s check in then.”

This fosters mutual respect.

7. Don’t Try to Fix Them—Be Present

You can’t “solve” anxiety, and trying to can create pressure.

Instead, focus on presence. Co-regulation—your calm presence helping them feel safe—lowers their stress response. Use phrases like:

• “I am here”
• “You are safe”
• “We don’t have to figure it out now”

For parents, sitting quietly with an anxious child, saying, “I am right here with you,” can be powerful.

At Make It Happen Hypnotherapy (MIHH), we teach self-hypnosis to reinforce this calm state.

One client, a parent, used self-hypnosis to stay grounded while supporting her anxious teen. It calmed her down and improved their bond.

Remember, you can not “fix” anxiety. But your calm presence co-regulates their nervous system.

Take Care of Yourself Too

This is important. Supporting someone with anxiety can emotionally exhaust you. It is also called “compassion burnout.” In this condition, you feel very tired after listening to/caring for a stressed person.

That doesn’t mean you should stop supporting them. Alternatively, you can practice self-regulation:

• Mindfulness
• Journaling
• A solo walk
• Scheduled downtime
• Cardiac Coherence breathing

For example, a 5-minute grounding exercise can recharge parents to support their child.

Consider MIHH’s hypnotherapy for yourself—our sessions help supporters manage stress and stay grounded.

In a Nutshell

How can you help someone with anxiety? You don’t need perfect words. Your presence, empathy, and willingness to learn their needs are the biggest help. Whether they are working professional, parent, or trauma survivor, your support matters. If they are ready to rewire anxiety at its roots, Make It Happen Hypnotherapy’s (MIHH) hypnotherapy offers a natural path. Book a free strategy call to see how we can help your loved one transform anxiety into confidence.

FAQs

Can Hypnotherapy Really Help Reduce Anxiety Symptoms?

Yes, hypnotherapy can reduce anxiety symptoms. In fact, it can be an effective complementary treatment for anxiety. It helps you access the subconscious mind to reframe negative thought patterns. Also, it reduces the brain’s overactive stress response. Clinical studies show that when combined with traditional therapies, hypnotherapy helps clients achieve lasting relief.

How Can Setting Boundaries Improve my Relationship With Someone Who Has Anxiety?

Setting clear, compassionate boundaries helps maintain your own well-being while supporting your loved one. Boundaries create a safe, predictable environment that reduces stress for both of you. For example, agreeing on specific times to talk about anxiety prevents emotional exhaustion. It can encourage your loved one to develop similar habits.

What Role Does Co-Regulation Play in Helping Someone With Anxiety?

Co-regulation is the process where your calm presence helps soothe your loved one’s anxiety during triggering situations. Don’t try to fix their anxiety. Simply being emotionally available can lower their stress hormones and make them feel safe. Also, it is a foundational technique in hypnotherapy and trauma-informed care.