How to Deal with Uncontrollable Anger?

 

 

Uncontrollable Anger : Do you often find yourself getting easily mad at others? Have you ever wondered why you get so angry? You don’t like your reactions but feel like you need to “fight back” and can’t help it. What good is anger bringing? Have you ever said something that you regret later when you are angry?

Anger if not controlled, can quickly destroy what we take years to build, such as losing your loved ones. So, think about it, is your outrage acceptable?

 

How is short-temper developed?
 

Understanding the root of your anger is an important step in anger management. Someone’s background and upbringing can influence how they cope with anger. It may be that your parents easily got angry and violent when you were younger, so you were brought up to believe outrage is normal. Or if the people you have trusted often let you down in the past, you still have that unresolved uncontrollable anger within you.

The more we allow ourselves to be angry, the more we are building a network of neurons that make it so much easier to be angry. As it goes on autopilot in the neuropathway, you start finding it so much more difficult to be happy. You need to develop the neuropathway that allows you to feel calm over time, so anger can be in control as and when it comes.

 

Your belief that drives you mad
 

Uncontrollable Anger is a natural emotional reaction to what our minds and beliefs lie. Your emotional response to each situation offers one of the biggest clues to discovering which iceberg belief is at play. In order to control anger, you need to change the way how your mind imagines and how much you believe in those stories you created.

Once you can identify the limiting belief and navigate around it, you have a powerful skill for sailing through stressful situations.

 

Anger – the protector of vulnerable feelings
 
 

Anger is often described as a “secondary emotion”, because people tend to use it to protect their own raw, vulnerable, and overwhelmed feelings.

Many parents have been using anger as a means to show authority; however, it could badly hurt their relationship with their children.

John is a father of a 16-year-old teenager, his son always hangs out with friends and get drunk and take drugs. He is so angry that his son never listens to him. He thinks that he must have control over his 16 years old teenager, if not, he won’t be a good father and he will be painfully ashamed by society. His fear has manifested itself as anger. He fears that his son will keep ruining his life. He is also very disappointed to see his son not doing what he could to unleash his potential.

So, you can see that underneath all this anger, is fear, disappointment, and frustration. Only love and patience, understanding and empowerment can turn the situation around.

Feeling frustrated and angry at work is also way too common. Someone doesn’t feel valued by his boss or the boss doesn’t appreciate what you have to contribute.

 

Understanding anger: being emotionally hijacked
 

We can be tricked into being angry before we even have time to think. In such a case even cognitive techniques won’t be good enough at that moment. Because anger, like all strong emotions, works faster than the speed of thought.

Many people often don’t think when rage hits them. When your emotions hijack the brain, thoughts are often not involved until later on. Somehow you feel the emotional responses have become your second nature and you can’t help it because the responses are so ingrained and automatic.

When someone’s angry, he/she is in a trance state. A trance state is narrow-focused, in which reality is perceived in very selective and limited ways. Self-consciousness disappears and in the case of extreme danger, we can’t see other people’s perspectives during this state of consciousness.

To work with strong emotions, you need to learn how to work with the subconscious mind.
Learn to control your anger and calm the emotional mind through Mental Rehearsal with the 3 simple steps below:

 

1.Recognize what triggers your anger with mindfulness
 

Briefly recall the times when you got really angry. Identify what’s getting your emotions so worked up. Acknowledge it. Sit with it.

Notice how you feel? What makes you so angry? Look at your action. Layout the matrix of beliefs that were at the core of such emotional reactions and understand why someone might have a different view.

 

2. View your memories from an outsider’s perspective
 

Recall those times by remaining calm from the outside, viewing a memory from a 3rd person perspective just like it’s happening now. Notice how the anger is pushing you around.
Notice something you might have not noticed before, for e.g. your own facial expressions and others. Engage your thoughts by calming the emotional centres and encouraging detached observation. Is being angry the only way to respond?

 

3. Create new calming responses to replace anger responses
 

Recall that time by being a calm person, creating a new memory from a 1st person perspective. When starting to get angry. Stop, focus on your breath. Remind yourself to relax and take it easy. Every problem has a solution.

Inhale. Breathing deeply and longer on the way out. By doing so, the relaxation responses of the parasympathetic nervous system will kick in. You can think clearly again and be in control.

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Hypnotherapy

Under this, our clinical Hypnotherapist Sandy will guide you into a state of trance similar to daydreaming. This will allow her to work with your subconscious mind, find out the underlying causes of your emotional suffering, and establish desired outcomes for you. To achieve this, Sandy will use various techniques like Mindfulness, Past Life Regression, Inner Child Therapy, Parts Therapy, Gestalt Therapy, Rewind Technique, and more.